I never thought I’d live in a time where conflict would directly affect me. I read about these histories and stories about the oppressed versus the oppressor. How folks, who have no effect on the day-to-day lives of others, become the subject of cruel policies and even violence due to stigma and stereotypes. I grew up always telling myself, “There’s no way the world around me, the people I see daily, the society I reside in, would ever succumb to ignorant hatred of people.” Yet here we are. My people, LGBTQ+ people, but especially trans people, are under the uncomfortable and at times terrifying reality that the majority of the population surrounding us hates us and does not wish us to thrive or even survive.
For those who do not understand, I will clear some basic truths about trans people.
To my parents. You may disagree with my coming out and my transition, but the fact simply is that I am who I am. It is intrinsic to my being, and I do not have a choice. Much like how people wear glasses to correct for their body’s shortcomings, I engage in medical transition to overcome my body’s shortcomings. I know you love me and want the best for me. We have fundamentally different opinions on what “best for me” is. You’ve in the past expressed your worry about my safety, encouraging me to hide from the world and live as a man instead of a woman. With respect, I did that for 24 years of my life, and between self-harm and multiple suicide attempts, I do not believe hiding will help me. Should it come to a case where my people are losing lives, I hold that I want my choice in death. Between dying by my own hand as a closeted person, or dying by society for being myself, I choose the latter. I was never happy with my old self, and I refuse to let go of what I’ve worked so hard to obtain. Whether or not you support that, time will tell.
To my friends and allies. You are precious and dear to me. In the short time that I’ve been out as a transgender person, you’ve given me love, support, and solid advice. Regardless of how things for trans people go, please know you are good people and that even the smallest of kind gestures is appreciated. I cannot set the course of the future, but it is comforting to know that I am not alone.
To my people, the transgender folk. We have difficult choices to make now. Stay and fight? Flee? Transition in secret? Whatever you chose, the most important thing you can do is survive. The younger generations of queer folk need people to look up to. Examples of people who know their pain and persevered through the trials that the world throws at us. Me personally? I will stay. I will advocate and fight where I can to represent our people. I will not hide. I will not be forced under the boot. I will make it through as who I am, or I will die trying. If you have partners or families, please be safe with them and wisely pick how to protect them. For myself, it’s easy to abandon safety for a cause because I have no one directly under my care. For you, however, you have the position of responsibility for others. Take care of them, safeguard them, and safeguard your ability to do that. I hope one day we will see a country where we can be ourselves, free from oppression and hatred. It gets worse before it gets better. Hang in there. We can do this.
With love and fear,
Eurydice Soderquist